Another Year Another Headache

One of Pet's Nemisis

Karen's Best Friends

Pet

I’m a bit worried that the New Year might not be as happy as years past. My qualms arise from the unseen custodian’s of my welfare and well being stalking me every day in every way. Gives me a headache so I need an aspirin. Uh oh…the protectors got to the aspirin before me. First a blasted twisty top to keep kiddies out, keeps me out. After searching for a band aid to place over spurting bloody wound from cutting off that strapping plastic wrap I twist and turn a couple of hundred times and finally get it off but a burly foil top won’t let me in. Says pull here but all that does is destroy the tab so the bloody knife is the only answer. So now all I have to do is pull out half a bottle of cotton batting to get at the pills. Think I’ll pop four instead of the advised two.

Karen

I’m always so hopeful when a new year starts. I’m going to actually make some resolutions and keep them. I’m going to make time to see my friends. I really have the best of intentions but once I’m done writing everything down all I’m left with is a big headache. The pesky bottle is just one more thing I can’t control. But once I pop the pill and calm down I realize that I have a whole year to get my resolutions done. And even if I only accomplish half of them because city life can be even more distracting than the internet, I know that I’ve made an effort. Will I ever work myself up again and get another headache? Probably.

Pet

New Year’s resolutions will not deter me from my rant. Here in the country the UPS truck is a frequent traveler up and down our road. Two of the girls even married two of the UPS guys. Love that truck but hate the packages they bring. Oh the goodies within are great it’s the wrapping that gets me. Popcorn and foam and tape…takes hours to get through them, just like that aspirin bottle. And the trash these over wrapped monsters generate!!! Two or three packages a week means an extra trip to the dump. Gas used, wear and tear on the mini-van not to mention my tired body from removing and disposing of the “protective” wrapping. Didn’t all of this start when someone popped poison pills into a bottle of Tylenol?

Karen

I can feel your packaging frustration all the way to tinsel town!!!! Yesterday I had to get out the industrial strength scissors to cut open a battery package. Then as soon as I cut it the package exploded and all the batteries rolled all over the floor! A migraine was instantly in my future. Do the people that design packaging have a deal with all the pain reliever companies? No… you can’t open their bottles either! I do have to admit I have a love hate relationship with packaging. I hate things that are packed in vacuum-sealed plastic. I almost mutilated my wonderful Christmas present, an Ipod, trying to remove it from its plastic tomb just so I could play the darn thing! But I actually love bubble wrap. Not only does it protect my wonderful eBay antiques, but once it has done its job I can have hours of fun popping all the bubbles! Free entertainment. What’s not to love? : )

Pet

I guess popping bubble wrap beats popping aspirin. Something else making me pop something, like maybe a bottle of Tennessee sipping whiskey-- all those machines beeping at me, built in by our unseen guardians. I never get to open the door of the microwave soon enough, my computer revels in beeping out my mistakes, the dryer screeches when done, and don’t even mention my mini-van. That blasted GM product never gives me a chance to buckle my seat belt seat belt before throwing a beeping fit. Walking the dog outside in the crisp country air brings no relief from the bossy machines. The silo on the farm next door makes dumb noises and you should hear the ding-a-ling-ing when those trucks back up. Sometimes the farm noise beat out the sirens in the city.

Karen

One benefit of living in the city is it’s so darn noisy you become numb to it all. In fact all my appliances have a complex. My dryer can ding for hours and I totally ignore it. The microwave screams for my attention but I didn’t even notice. The trash trucks clang up and down the street at 7:00 in the morning and I sleep blissfully. Of course I cheat and wear earplugs. : ) Yes, earplugs and nose canceling head phones are a city girls best friends. Not to mention the general deafness that happens when you are subjected to endless noises 24-7. But I do empathize having been a country girl. Loud noises reach supersonic levels in the peaceful countryside. Can I suggest a lovely pair of blue earplugs? We could be twins. : )

Pet

Once again we find the similarities between country and city life. One sound you won't have invading your sanctuary is the one that comes from the pasture next door where all the cows about to be mamas live. The heifers delivering their first born really howl. Pathetic, but then happy when they again become super milk producers. This leads to my next rant about us becoming a nanny society. The farmers next door are livid about all those people watching our collective health who spout out about the evils of ingesting dairy. When we were kids a glass of milk at each meal was a necessity. Now “those people” are pushing soy “milk”. Of course healthy eating went west years ago. But in Tennessee, the land of biscuits and sausage gravy? Too much.

Karen

Don't get me started on milk! I'm one of those people that needs a nanny! I'm lactose intolerant. No stomach issues for me. What happens when I have a yummy cheese lasagna like I had last night? I can't breathe! Woke up this morning with half a nostril and a sinus headache. Why did I order the lasagna you might ask? Because I wanted it no matter what the price! Until lactose free milk and ice cream came along I was totally deprived. Yes, soy milk was one the alternatives. Not the same taste at all. But thankfully living in the city we have all kinds of alternatives to milk and cheese products. Are they as yummy as the ones made with real milk? No. But at least I can indulge and still breathe!

Pet

You don’t need a nanny. Soy milk is your choice. If I were the nanny I’d say everyone must drink milk and eat lots of beef, lean kind of course. That’s my choice and given time I’d spout off all the health advantages of these locally grown products and the reasons I’m outlawing soy products and poor Karen Anne would have to choke. Fortunately soy beans grow in abundance here in the valley. Get the point of my rant? I vote for a few less layers of package wrap, shutting up those noisy, nosey machines and for heaven’s sake stay away from my food. I have a few more, okay a bunch more, but I’ll save them for a future blog. Of course if the snow and cold clear up I won’t be nearly so mean. A hunk of the year is now gone but never too late to wish one and all a Happy 2011.